She gasped! And at the same moment, looked up to see an oncoming vehicle heading straight for her.
…
Only by the special grace of God did the driver rein and swerve, missing her by a few inches. Lizzie’s head was spinning. It took all her strength and willpower to safely move the car out of the road and call her husband.
“Bae… Be… “ She tried to speak.
“What’s wrong? Liz?? Hello?! Hello?! Can you hear me? Where are you?!” He asked frantically.
“Por… port… junction… stadium…”
Lizzie knew she wasn’t making any sense and her spluttering would only end up confusing her husband who was already in panic mode.
“I..lo.. love…”
Swift movement on the other side of the phone and a faint voice screaming:
“I’ll be right with you. Hold on for me please!”
Before everything went black.
….
Her body was on fire. Everywhere was hurting. What had happened? She tried to open her eyes but they were glued together. Trying to move her fingers hurt and even breathing was painful. There were scattered voices around her. Flashes of light and images played in her head. She was in that bridge between sleep and wakefulness.
She felt a warm hand pick hers. She wanted to pull away but it hurt more to move, so she allowed the person to hold her hand. The touch was familiar, bringing back sweet memories floating in her head. It was soothing, relaxing, and far from painful.
Her eyelashes fluttered open and she saw the most handsome man she’d ever seen. Of course, he was her husband too and he wore the most charming smile ever. She wanted to smile too and ask why his eyes were sad. But her lips and cheeks hurt, so she stayed still.
Then it hit her! The bad road! The traffic jam! The madwoman and her baby! Her baby! Where’s her baby??
Her face registered a thousand emotions as these memories rushed to her. As though reading her mind, her husband stooped to hug her, absorbing her muffled screams.
At 32 weeks, she’d lost her baby. Never in all her years had she wept as much as she did. Her husband was there, caring and trying to pacify her. But she could see that he was also in pain. What could they do? They had to console each other.
And that’s what they did until she was discharged. For days after her return, Lizzie went around the house in a daze. Moping, walking but not really seeing where she was going.
Several times, her husband met her rummaging through the items they’d purchased for the baby. She’d hold the tiny socks to her chest and weep uncontrollably.
After some weeks, the pain eased a bit. But each time someone who knew she was pregnant saw her and asked if she’d put to bed, her heart broke all over again.
“Sorry Liz, I couldn’t make it yesterday. My baby had the flu and was cranky.” Her colleague said as she walked into the meeting room. They’d scheduled a meeting for 12 and Jolade was fashionably late again, by over an hour.
“Oh, is she teething already?” Her other colleague, Natasha asked sipping her drink leisurely.
“Yes, my dear. I tried the drug you prescribed and it worked like magic. That’s the only reason I was able to leave her with the sitter today. But I won’t stay so long, I need to get back on time.”
“Oh, it’s alright, it’s never easy to leave your child with strangers. You can’t stop thinking of all the terrible things they could do.”
Lizzie watched the two women go back and forth on babies, nannies, and all it took to be a mother.
“Oh, don’t be mean Tasha. We’ve managed to lose Lizzie here. You know she can’t relate since she doesn’t have a baby yet. Let’s not bring back the hurtful memories of her loss now. Lizzie dear, back to why we’re here. I think the event should celebrate our culture so we should probably visit the museum.”
Jolade had managed to stylishly mock her and immediately switch the topic. She saw Tasha paused ominously, as though expecting her to react, but she held her mouth and went with the flow.
She and Jolade had been pregnant about the same time and they’d spent some time sharing their pregnancy experiences. In fact, she was three months ahead of her, so didn’t expect such comments from a fellow woman and mother at that. This was one of the bitter pills she had to shove down her throat and hold herself from vomiting.
“Instead of you focusing on trying to have a child for your husband, you’re offering unsolicited advice to women who are successful in their marriages as mothers!”
“If you cannot bear children for your husband, then you should close your mouth and hide in shame. Not come here and vomit rubbish. Has creativity helped you become a mother?”
Some persons had commented under her post on unleashing one’s creativity and achieving their dreams. Lizzie had wept the seven seas of the world combined!
She tried to make herself happy, but every time she did, humans and society discovered a million ways to steal her joy. She could hardly give an opinion on something before being reminded that she was childless after three years of marriage (four miscarriages no one knew about and one stillbirth, she was still being blamed for). Her husband was extremely supportive. Trevor was every woman’s dream and she thanked God for that decision she made to marry him.
She’d met him in her university days. The young man was such a charmer, swaying her with words in an instant. She wondered if her past mistakes were gradually catching up with her.
Realization dawned on her as she jumped up from her seat in the office. Was that why she was finding it hard to have a child? She asked open-mouthed!
….
To be continued.
