Ever since the ban on bikes and tricycles over a month, Lagosians have struggled to adapt to the pain of endless hours at the bus stop and suffocating hours stuck in incessant traffic. But as true Nigerians, they always find a way to suffer even in unpleasant conditions.
So first, Lagosians tried to use horses to commute, but the poor animals couldn’t survive a whole day on the streets of Lagos, with at least one of them dead.
Having little or no choice but to wait till whenever a bus showed up, they resolved to stand at the bus-stop with a determination to rush into anything moving on four wheels and going in their direction. Sometimes, they had to wait for at least an hour for a ride. And when a ride did come, they had to be as agile as antelopes to fight their way through, even if it meant diving through the window or breaking down the doors. It didn’t matter, as long as they got a ride. With that in mind, many commuters made friends and even laughed at the funny scenes at the bus stop while awaiting a vehicle.
Chioma and her colleague had left the office late again. They had so much to do which they couldn’t leave till the next day. Chioma had no idea how long they’d have to wait this time before getting a ride home. She knew her last child would already be crying for mummy, while the four others rallied around and her husband tried to keep them calm. It’s never easy with these children, but she was thankful for the gift of every one of them.
They had stood for so long already, waiting impatiently for a vehicle in their direction. Chioma felt sure her neck must have grown about three inches longer from all the stretching. Her legs had almost sunk into the ground and her feet were sore and weeping. Her voice was already hoarse from all her shouts to oncoming vehicles, in the hope that they could suddenly change their minds and head instead in her direction.
After about an hour and forty minute’s wait, with almost 50 persons at the bus stop and at least 45 heading in the same direction as she, a big bus arrived for them and the struggle to get a spot started. In the course of the stampede, right before she jumped in, a struggling passenger pushed down the door and it came crashing to the ground.
In a fit of anger, the conductor started screaming in heavy Yoruba and prevented other persons from entering. Chioma and her new found friend (a young lady she met at the bus stop regularly) tried to get on the bus, but the fuming conductor roughly pushed them aside. A second attempt and he pushed them both again with Chioma nearly falling to the ground.
At that instant, it was like a new spirit came upon her!
She grabbed the skinny conductor and landed him a very hot slap! The conductor tried to retaliate but Chioma’s hand was already in his mouth! Her friend tried to hold her back, but she struggled free and launched another attack. Her colleague who had successfully entered the bus jumped down and pushed the conductor aside, querying him for touching a woman. Another fight almost ensued between the guy and the conductor as the conductor maintained that Chioma had broken his door.
The conductor kept dishing out hot invectives in Yoruba. But Chioma had an answer to every ill-gotten statement the man dished out and proceeded to rain insults on him in a perfect blend of Yoruba and Pidgin English. She dropped both bags, including the one containing some goodies for her kids and pulled her slippers. The poor conductor who was still boasting, received another round of beating from the furious slippers.
Her friend tried to hold her back but Chioma refused to be held. The young lady instead bent down to pick up Chioma’s bags which were scattered about and surrounded by dead naira notes which the conductor had dropped during the scuffle. Commuters and onlookers held on to them and tried to pull them apart, but Chioma wouldn’t let go. She was determined to teach the lizard of a conductor a serious lesson for daring to lay his hand on her.
“Why will you push me? Am I the one that fell your door? Do you want to kill me? What if I used my head to fall?”
She asked the questions in a bout of fury without giving the conductor a chance to respond. Not that she cared whatever he had to say!
“See how he just pushed me like that! And I was already falling! I saw myself falling and hitting my head on the ground!” She explained to observers who were trying to calm her down.
“You’re very stupid! I’ll show you that I’m from Fadeyi, me na agbero too! Nonsense! You want to try me?! You want to kill me for my children! You cannot succeed! My God is too big for you. You’re a Satan! You’ll rot in hell!”
People from all over tried to separate the fight. But the conductor wouldn’t hear that a woman beat him so he continued with the fight.
Nearby, a mallam was selling sugarcane. Chioma grabbed a piece of sugarcane from the wheelbarrow and used it to lash at the conductor again! She was not relenting in her fight and the conductor’s futile attempts to hit her only fueled her anger.
When people finally succeeded in separating the fight, Chioma walked away still shouting. Her friends had left her, since she wouldn’t listen to anybody. Just when everyone thought the fight was over, Chioma realized that conceding defeat would mean losing her spot on the bus, something she was not prepared to give up! So she marched back and insisted on getting back on the bus. It took the special grace of God for people to get her away from the bus long enough for the driver to move.
“You’re a devil! My God is too big for you.
You’ll go to hell fire! You’ll suffer for all these! My God will punish you!”
As though God heard her prayers, the bus had barely left its initial spot before the confused driver ran into a road-divider and punctured one of the tyres. All the passengers who were initially happy to have got a bus after waiting for so long, filed out as others tried to get the broken vehicle which had immediately caused a traffic jam, out of the way.
One by one, they all walked the few steps back to the bus stop, laughing at the immediate calamity that befell the driver and conductor. Some passengers on meeting Chioma hailed her for her prayers.
“Madam your prayer work o! We no even go far sef!”
“As in! Your God too strong abeg! Chai!”
On seeing what had happened Chioma raised her hands up in the air, giving thanks to God.
“I know I have a big God! God knows why he allowed all these to happen! He didn’t want me to enter the bus of bloodsucking demons! Oh! Lord, I thank you.” She said and launched into another round of prayers, much to the surprise of her friends and onlookers who had witnessed the whole drama.
It was only after her short prayer session that she regained herself and retrieved her bags from her friend. She recovered her composure and laughed at the hilarious comments regarding the fight, with other witnesses. It was like the spirit which came upon her had left her as suddenly as it had come.
But then, the endless wait for a bus had resumed. A quick glance at her watch told her it was 8:00. She sighed and worried about how her children were coping without her.
Shortly after, a small bus came along and the rush resumed. Being a sharp girl, Chioma secured a seat amongst the seven lucky passengers. Her friends, following her lead were also lucky. But then, the crowd at the bus stop had barely reduced. So many helpless commuters were still waiting to get a ride home. As her bus drove past the earlier broken vehicle, thirty minutes after the fight, Chioma thanked God again for sparing her life and saving them from bloodsucking demons!
Truly, the bus struggles of Lagosians are endless, but then, they’re relentless in their quest for survival!
